Pop away your stress!

One of my favorite items I brought back from Japan is my Mameshiba keychain.  It’s a new character in Japan, and the keychain simulates the look and feel of squeezing an edamame from it’s pod (except the center bean has a cute little dog face).

I saw that they had all sorts of simulation keychains and cell phone straps, and I finally found an English website that sells a limited amount of them.  There’s a bubble wrap one, for those who like to endlessly pop those plastic bubbles, cardboard pull tabs, and even beer can top poppers!

http://www.strapya-world.com/categories/12_3202_3289.html

Shower of Memories

This is just a really random blog, but I swear, there’s a point to it.

I’ve recently come under the weather…no worries, my doctor assured me that it is NOT H1N1, but instead a virus-induced sinus infection and acute bronchitis…both of which I’ve experienced quite often.  This time it’s been a bit of a rough battle, and I’ve had to miss classes (something I really hate to do), but I definitely want to get back to 100% health before the holidays begin.  You can’t enjoy turkey when you’re feeling ill!

So I’m at home, trying to relax and rest up, and I found when I went to take a shower that I had left my shampoo and conditioner in the dorms.  I had to use what products were already in the bathroom, which included the conditioner that I used when I was a kid.

They say that the sense of smell is the strongest sense tied to memory, and that is no understatement.  The minute I opened the bottle, I remembered staying over at my grandmother’s house, middle school, having ridiculously long hair.  And just that little whiff of a nostalgic scent was all it took to bring my spirits up, even when I felt horrible physically.

That’s not the only reminder I had this week.  One of the clubs at school I’m a part of had a bake sale, and they were selling all sorts of things from lemon bars to cookies, and even sweet mochi!  It was made from the powder, not the actual pounded rice, and it was decorated with green and pink colors like jello, but something about the taste took me back to Japan.  I couldn’t remember what it was that it tasted like, but that first bite made me want to cry.  It’s no surprise that I’ll be asking my friend for her recipe.

Even in times when you’re feeling crappy – and believe me, I’m feeling pretty sick – it’s so important to remember that the silver lining we look for is not made of one long piece of precious metal, but instead tiny, simple beads of shiny glass strung together.

I’m big in Japan…too big.

I had  been debating about whether to share something with you all on my blog for a very long time.  It’s something personal, and admittedly a little scary, but it’s also something that people need to be aware of, because it’s an issue that many young girls experience throughout the world.  It wasn’t until today, when a friend shared an article with me, that I felt compelled to share a part of my experience in Japan that previously I was a tad ashamed to open up about.

In middle school, I remember having terrible self-esteem.  In high school, I grew to love myself and what I had, and that newfound confidence continued to bring a pleasant glow to my life into college life.

Being in Japan, I found myself thinking the same thoughts as my 12 year old self.  I was in a country where every single food item (including those on restaurant menus) told you how many calories it was, how many grams of fat it contained, etc.    Women (particularly in Tokyo) seemed to be grossly underdeveloped, with a thinness that could only be considered borderline sickly.  Men could probably fit into my jeans with room to spare.  I was bombarded with constant advertisements about reducing fat, getting every part of your body from your neck to your arms to your waist to your thighs even just a mere centimeter smaller.  Anytime an already tiny Japanese friend would meekly declare she was on a diet, everyone in the group would cheer her on with “ganbare!  ganbatte!“  (essentially saying, “good luck!  try your hardest!”).  One girl even admitted to me – after announcing she was going to start her diet that week – that she was already 90 lbs and her doctor advised her against it because she had become anemic with all her diets.

Needless to say, it only took a few months for me to come crashing down.  I despised everything about myself.  I’d go into stores and find that their largest size – usually somewhere between a US small or medium – was too small for me, and they never carried sizes any larger.  I can’t tell you how many times I’d try something on and find it didn’t fit, and instead of reminding myself that sizes were a lot smaller in Japan, I cursed myself for not being tinier.  I’d see my body in the mirror and pinched and grabbed as if I could pull away the excess like wet clay, and reshape myself.  I cried when I realized I couldn’t.

Come spring, I found myself counting calories, and even tried that ridiculous banana diet.  I think, in the end, it was the fact that I loved eating and loved food that saved me from ever developing an eating disorder.

Today, I’m happy to say I’ve mostly recovered.  The “I love the way I look” days far outweigh the “I hate the way I look” days.  Dressing rooms become my dance floor when I try on clothes and find that, yes, I did fit into those jeans, and yes they look great on me.

But it was a scary thing to relive my preteen self, and the point of me sharing all of this with you was NOT to gain sympathy or compliments.  In fact, if I hear any of that, “but Addi, you’re not fat at all” I’m going to say, “Damn straight, I’m not.”  My point is that even someone with strong self-esteem and confidence can be brought to a negative state of mind, and it’s not something that anyone can just brush off because it’s a struggle that so many women go through.  I was embarrassed to find that I wasn’t as thin as the women in Japan, but I was also embarrassed to even be thinking such thoughts.

So I hope that, if my readers ever took anything away from this, it’s that even the happiest of people have bad moments, especially in a changed environment.  But the most important thing is to stay sensitive and supportive, especially to those who are at high risk.

Here is the article…be sure to read the comments at the end too, because they have some very valid points as well:

Japan, Healthcare, and Obesity

The Book of Gratitude

24 hours ago, I was a wreck.  I was crying my eyes out, frustrated with school, life, and wondering why people do awful things to each other.  All the stress and fear and hurt that had accumulated over the quarter came out in one heavy surge, and at that late hour, I was very much alone in my distress.  I could only talk to people online, finding little comfort in the smiley faces and typed words from my friends, who couldn’t find any other way to help me since they couldn’t send a cyber shoulder.

And then, I remembered something that my professor from philosophy mentioned.  ”Write a book of gratitude,” he said, “and how you do that is write five things you’re grateful for from that day every single night.”

Tissues in hand, I opened my neglected journal and began to write: “I am grateful to…”

Soon, I had filled the page with people I felt grateful to, things I felt grateful for, and one by one I was reminded of all the good things I have in my life, all the pleasant things that happened that day, things that were unexpected acts of kindness, surprisingly simple pleasures, and things that I may have taken for granted from before.  My mind – which only a few hours before was screaming with sad thoughts – suddenly quieted.  At 2 in the morning, I fell asleep with the warm feeling of “aah…what a good day it was.”

I admit, in the morning I was still pretty upset by all that had piled up, but I was somehow able to wake up and handle everything with a more positive attitude.  And, from that rock bottom in the wee hours of the morning, I had no place to go but up, and with my newly restored optimism and a lot of help and love from friends, I skyrocketed into joy that lasted all morning, day, afternoon, and into the night.  Not even an art critique could faze me anymore!  It was a day of singing, of dancing, of playing and joking and hugging and smiling.  I find that tonight, I’ll have even more to write.

So, friends and family, I want to suggest this idea of a Book of Gratitude to you all.  The rules are so simple: You must write every night, and you must write at least five things.  They can be anything you feel thankful for, from something as general as “I’m grateful for my family” to as specific as “I’m grateful that Bob let me borrow his lecture notes.”  You’ll find that even on your first entry, these things will come surprisingly easy to you.  And you’ll go to bed not with regrets about that day or worries about the next day, but with a feeling of echoing happiness that, if harnessed correctly, will continue singing into your tomorrow.

Reunion is oh so sweet

Tomorrow, I meet with two of the boys from SISEC that I held near and dear to my heart. They’ve come to California for a visit, and are taking the day to come to my school. Stay tuned, I’ll post again after.

Can’t even described how excited I am, but also mortified knowing that my Japanese has deteriorated. I can still understand quite a bit, but speaking is SO much harder now.

Making Strides

Thank you for those who supported my team and I in the Breast Cancer Awareness walk.

It was a cold Halloween morning, but that didn’t stop us from having a blast!  Since the 5k walk was pretty easy, we had surges of energetic moments filled with singing, dancing, and all-around goofing off. I’m glad we as CSA (and friends!) were able to give back to the community and have a good time!

The Group Picture!

filling big shoes

The Next Generation

Last week, I was invited to attend a panel for the Direct Exchange programs at SCU, which is the kind of program I took for my study abroad.  I wasn’t entirely sure if I could make it, but last minute on a whim, I ducked into the room and let the director know I was there.  I was the only student present who had already completed the program, but there was one student who was studying here from France on his master’s program.

When the director began the panel and asked how many people were interested in studying at Sophia University in Tokyo, at least 12 hands went up, leaving me shocked and excited.  When I was in that same position two years ago, I was maybe one in five.  Most importantly, when I was in their shoes, no one had come forward about the experience in Japan, and very few if any had done a year-long stay (most do summer) with a host family (oh how that plan changed).  Just before the panel was dismissed and students were allowed to ask program-specific questions, I told all of them, “If any of you need ANY help or answers, don’t hesitate to come to me.  I have the perspective of someone who has been there already, who has lived there as a foreign student, so I am more than happy to give you insight that you might not get from a native Japanese, or other students who did other programs.”

Almost all the people who had raised their hands previously came to me afterwards, asking me questions about what time is the best to go, what sort of classes I took, how much Japanese they’d need.  I have to admit, I was really happy to be helping them and giving them the advice that I didn’t get when I was a sophomore.  It feels pretty nice to be able to help the next generation of exchange students.

Douhatsuten

As usual, I found myself riding shotgun in my boyfriend’s car, as we were on the hunt for something to eat.  It was 9:30 pm, most places were closed or near closing, and we were driving without a real purpose in mind.

On our way to Mountain View, a small place caught my eye.  A large orange banner with swift black kanji strokes hung at an angle to the building, which looked no bigger than a very small fast food joint.  I pointed it out, we made a U-turn (my friend calls that “Flip a Luigi”…I don’t get it), and pulled in to the parking lot.  Chris was almost immediately turned off by the fact that the bathrooms were outside the main area, like gas stations, but something about this place really piqued my attention.

If it’s one thing I learned in Japan, it’s to never EVER judge a restaurant by the exterior (though now I’m starting to learn that such a belief might only apply to Japan).  You’d get restaurants that you’d never even know were restaurants because they were so inconspicuous, with only the name painted on the doorway and hours in the window.  But these places were often some of the best – albeit tiniest – for a weary or broke traveller to eat.  The food was often closest to home cooked, and while they almost never spoke English or had English menus in such places, the staff was like the Japanese family you never had (or, in my case, the extra Japanese aunties and uncles that spoke Japanese that I never had).

So this place was pretty small, and at that hour, fairly empty.  I ordered Yuzu Miso Ramen, which was a surprising mixture of flavors that I don’t think many people would like, but I found it really interesting.  On Yelp, the place had lukewarm reviews; most people recommended the tapas over the ramen.  Chris was less than impressed it seemed, and the prices were what I call “Japanese prices” (200 yen for a Coke, $2.00 for a Coke).

But I couldn’t help myself when I saw the large group of six people on the other side of the restaurant, laughing and chatting away in Japanese, and seeing my SISEC friends in them.  They weren’t the only ones…other patrons were Japanese nationals.

I may not have felt the desire to come back to this place, but because I saw those people and felt that little pull in my heart that I get every now and then (ever since coming home), I thought:

Well…I should at least give the tapas a try next time I come…

The Ramen Girl

Last night, I put my boyfriend through the torture of watching “The Ramen Girl”, a movie I had heard about.  Plainly put, the movie itself is terrible.  There’s some pretty bad acting, bad scene cuts, and overall it’s a bland bowl of noodle soup.

But there were many things that proved to be a little more authentic in this movie than your typical made-in-America-set-in-Japan film.  Contrary to what the trailer suggests, there is a true language barrier between the girl and her ramen sensei – no magic ability to understand each other – and the frustration that builds between them because of this is one of the most familiar things to me.  And they got legitimate Japanese actors and actresses (many of them I recognized from movies and television shows) that spoke and behaved like every person I came in contact with there.

The movie is not a particularly sad one, but I felt like crying at the most random parts because so much reminded me of Tokyo.  When I heard the Japanese businessman speaking English, his accent was exactly like that of my friends’ from Sophia.  Scenes of festivals, torrential rain, and piping hot bowls of ramen were all I needed to feel a bittersweet sort of happiness.

I don’t recommend this movie to anyone really, unless you’ve been to Japan and spent a good amount of time without a translator or tour guide.  But I know that many of my fellow exchange friends would enjoy it in the same ways I did, especially those who, like me, didn’t arrive in Tokyo with a strong sense of the language.

Now I’m really craving ramen.

IKEA Taishooo!

When I was in Japanese language school (7th grade through high school), we were forced to do taisho (morning exercises) after first period.  We dreaded this, of course, and felt stupid doing these silly moves in the parking lot while people drove by giving us strange looks.

Of course, this type of exercise is not uncommon in Japan and is actually encouraged.  They play it during daily news programs in the morning, and you’ll see entire staff of large corporations taking part each morning.

I found a delightful IKEA version on youtube.  I love IKEA, but what makes this even more fun is that all the moves have to do with IKEA stuff; lifting boxes, color preferences, item recommendations, etc.  Not to mention the catchy music and fun moves!