The Book of Gratitude

24 hours ago, I was a wreck.  I was crying my eyes out, frustrated with school, life, and wondering why people do awful things to each other.  All the stress and fear and hurt that had accumulated over the quarter came out in one heavy surge, and at that late hour, I was very much alone in my distress.  I could only talk to people online, finding little comfort in the smiley faces and typed words from my friends, who couldn’t find any other way to help me since they couldn’t send a cyber shoulder.

And then, I remembered something that my professor from philosophy mentioned.  ”Write a book of gratitude,” he said, “and how you do that is write five things you’re grateful for from that day every single night.”

Tissues in hand, I opened my neglected journal and began to write: “I am grateful to…”

Soon, I had filled the page with people I felt grateful to, things I felt grateful for, and one by one I was reminded of all the good things I have in my life, all the pleasant things that happened that day, things that were unexpected acts of kindness, surprisingly simple pleasures, and things that I may have taken for granted from before.  My mind – which only a few hours before was screaming with sad thoughts – suddenly quieted.  At 2 in the morning, I fell asleep with the warm feeling of “aah…what a good day it was.”

I admit, in the morning I was still pretty upset by all that had piled up, but I was somehow able to wake up and handle everything with a more positive attitude.  And, from that rock bottom in the wee hours of the morning, I had no place to go but up, and with my newly restored optimism and a lot of help and love from friends, I skyrocketed into joy that lasted all morning, day, afternoon, and into the night.  Not even an art critique could faze me anymore!  It was a day of singing, of dancing, of playing and joking and hugging and smiling.  I find that tonight, I’ll have even more to write.

So, friends and family, I want to suggest this idea of a Book of Gratitude to you all.  The rules are so simple: You must write every night, and you must write at least five things.  They can be anything you feel thankful for, from something as general as “I’m grateful for my family” to as specific as “I’m grateful that Bob let me borrow his lecture notes.”  You’ll find that even on your first entry, these things will come surprisingly easy to you.  And you’ll go to bed not with regrets about that day or worries about the next day, but with a feeling of echoing happiness that, if harnessed correctly, will continue singing into your tomorrow.

Reunion is oh so sweet

Tomorrow, I meet with two of the boys from SISEC that I held near and dear to my heart. They’ve come to California for a visit, and are taking the day to come to my school. Stay tuned, I’ll post again after.

Can’t even described how excited I am, but also mortified knowing that my Japanese has deteriorated. I can still understand quite a bit, but speaking is SO much harder now.

Making Strides

Thank you for those who supported my team and I in the Breast Cancer Awareness walk.

It was a cold Halloween morning, but that didn’t stop us from having a blast!  Since the 5k walk was pretty easy, we had surges of energetic moments filled with singing, dancing, and all-around goofing off. I’m glad we as CSA (and friends!) were able to give back to the community and have a good time!

The Group Picture!

filling big shoes

The Next Generation

Last week, I was invited to attend a panel for the Direct Exchange programs at SCU, which is the kind of program I took for my study abroad.  I wasn’t entirely sure if I could make it, but last minute on a whim, I ducked into the room and let the director know I was there.  I was the only student present who had already completed the program, but there was one student who was studying here from France on his master’s program.

When the director began the panel and asked how many people were interested in studying at Sophia University in Tokyo, at least 12 hands went up, leaving me shocked and excited.  When I was in that same position two years ago, I was maybe one in five.  Most importantly, when I was in their shoes, no one had come forward about the experience in Japan, and very few if any had done a year-long stay (most do summer) with a host family (oh how that plan changed).  Just before the panel was dismissed and students were allowed to ask program-specific questions, I told all of them, “If any of you need ANY help or answers, don’t hesitate to come to me.  I have the perspective of someone who has been there already, who has lived there as a foreign student, so I am more than happy to give you insight that you might not get from a native Japanese, or other students who did other programs.”

Almost all the people who had raised their hands previously came to me afterwards, asking me questions about what time is the best to go, what sort of classes I took, how much Japanese they’d need.  I have to admit, I was really happy to be helping them and giving them the advice that I didn’t get when I was a sophomore.  It feels pretty nice to be able to help the next generation of exchange students.

Douhatsuten

As usual, I found myself riding shotgun in my boyfriend’s car, as we were on the hunt for something to eat.  It was 9:30 pm, most places were closed or near closing, and we were driving without a real purpose in mind.

On our way to Mountain View, a small place caught my eye.  A large orange banner with swift black kanji strokes hung at an angle to the building, which looked no bigger than a very small fast food joint.  I pointed it out, we made a U-turn (my friend calls that “Flip a Luigi”…I don’t get it), and pulled in to the parking lot.  Chris was almost immediately turned off by the fact that the bathrooms were outside the main area, like gas stations, but something about this place really piqued my attention.

If it’s one thing I learned in Japan, it’s to never EVER judge a restaurant by the exterior (though now I’m starting to learn that such a belief might only apply to Japan).  You’d get restaurants that you’d never even know were restaurants because they were so inconspicuous, with only the name painted on the doorway and hours in the window.  But these places were often some of the best – albeit tiniest – for a weary or broke traveller to eat.  The food was often closest to home cooked, and while they almost never spoke English or had English menus in such places, the staff was like the Japanese family you never had (or, in my case, the extra Japanese aunties and uncles that spoke Japanese that I never had).

So this place was pretty small, and at that hour, fairly empty.  I ordered Yuzu Miso Ramen, which was a surprising mixture of flavors that I don’t think many people would like, but I found it really interesting.  On Yelp, the place had lukewarm reviews; most people recommended the tapas over the ramen.  Chris was less than impressed it seemed, and the prices were what I call “Japanese prices” (200 yen for a Coke, $2.00 for a Coke).

But I couldn’t help myself when I saw the large group of six people on the other side of the restaurant, laughing and chatting away in Japanese, and seeing my SISEC friends in them.  They weren’t the only ones…other patrons were Japanese nationals.

I may not have felt the desire to come back to this place, but because I saw those people and felt that little pull in my heart that I get every now and then (ever since coming home), I thought:

Well…I should at least give the tapas a try next time I come…

The Ramen Girl

Last night, I put my boyfriend through the torture of watching “The Ramen Girl”, a movie I had heard about.  Plainly put, the movie itself is terrible.  There’s some pretty bad acting, bad scene cuts, and overall it’s a bland bowl of noodle soup.

But there were many things that proved to be a little more authentic in this movie than your typical made-in-America-set-in-Japan film.  Contrary to what the trailer suggests, there is a true language barrier between the girl and her ramen sensei – no magic ability to understand each other – and the frustration that builds between them because of this is one of the most familiar things to me.  And they got legitimate Japanese actors and actresses (many of them I recognized from movies and television shows) that spoke and behaved like every person I came in contact with there.

The movie is not a particularly sad one, but I felt like crying at the most random parts because so much reminded me of Tokyo.  When I heard the Japanese businessman speaking English, his accent was exactly like that of my friends’ from Sophia.  Scenes of festivals, torrential rain, and piping hot bowls of ramen were all I needed to feel a bittersweet sort of happiness.

I don’t recommend this movie to anyone really, unless you’ve been to Japan and spent a good amount of time without a translator or tour guide.  But I know that many of my fellow exchange friends would enjoy it in the same ways I did, especially those who, like me, didn’t arrive in Tokyo with a strong sense of the language.

Now I’m really craving ramen.

IKEA Taishooo!

When I was in Japanese language school (7th grade through high school), we were forced to do taisho (morning exercises) after first period.  We dreaded this, of course, and felt stupid doing these silly moves in the parking lot while people drove by giving us strange looks.

Of course, this type of exercise is not uncommon in Japan and is actually encouraged.  They play it during daily news programs in the morning, and you’ll see entire staff of large corporations taking part each morning.

I found a delightful IKEA version on youtube.  I love IKEA, but what makes this even more fun is that all the moves have to do with IKEA stuff; lifting boxes, color preferences, item recommendations, etc.  Not to mention the catchy music and fun moves!

Hustler.

Today, I received an email from the Overseas Office at Sophia University.  They handle anything between my university, as well as my host family, so I had a feeling it wasn’t good:

“Dear Adara,

I hope this message finds you well.
This is Mariko Onomura, from Overseas Liaison Center, Sophia University.
I received phone call from Miyadera-family for asking you to complete your payment for cell-phone.
They said that there is a due of 12000yen for cancellation of contract for you.
They ask you to remit 12000yen to following bank account.

***bank info***

If you have any inquiries regarding this matter, please contact Ms.Miyadera (***email***) directly, since this is a personal matter between you and Miyadera-family.
Thank you for your attention.

Best regards,
Mariko Onomura”

I’ll be honest, I was pretty pissed.  My last day of Japan, I met with my host father and we went to the phone company together to TRANSFER ownership and billing information to him.  Then we confirmed that all I needed to pay was the last month’s worth that I used it.  He was planning to use it either for himself or for the next exchange student that came along.

It’s possible that my host mother, who was so vehemently against taking the phone when I first left that family, didn’t know about the transaction.  But regardless, that phone was no longer my property when I left Japan, and unless my host father explains the situation and clears all of this, I refuse to pay any part of that $120.00 USD.  I emailed him, with the attachment of the notice, expressed my confusion and anger politely, and asked that he clear this up with his wife.

Hell, for all I know, she’s just trying hustle whatever she can out of me because I complained about her to my own university Exchange office.  But I’d rather have some faith in people first.

Since I got used to walking…

Hello family, friends, and any other passerby readers!

As you may or may not know, I’m a board member of the Chinese Student Association at my university, and we’ve decided to participate in the American Cancer Society Breast Cancer Awareness Walk “Making Strides” that will take place on October 31st.  It’s a 5-kilometer walk through San Jose’s Guadalupe River Park; good thing I got used to walking everywhere in Tokyo!  We’re getting pretty pumped for this – even the boys are okay with wearing pink shirts! – but we also need your help.

If you’re interested in donating and helping our team raise funds (the goal for each team is $2000), please follow the link below.  Donate just $1.00, or donate $100.00!  Anything helps for this cause.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/addidesu

Flu Fighting Tissues

As it gets colder and everyone around me seems plagued with colds, allergies, and flus (not to mention all the scare that these colds, allergies, and flus might be H1N1), I find that I miss one of the most under-appreciated aspects of Japan; tissue handouts.

At this point, I could care less that I’d be receiving an advertisement for the nearest and newest hostess bars, or insurance, or tutoring classes.  There’s something so reassuring about having a purse full of tissue packs.

The other day I ran into an alum who had gone to Japan for a semester, and she joyfully gave me one of the best hugs I’ve had since being back.  As we were talking about the experience – both of us reminiscing about the same things – I confessed to her about my feelings of isolation, particularly during conversation.  And she told me, “I know, that’s one of the hardest parts….but I promise you, it will pass.”

Prior to my studying abroad, I didn’t have anyone to tell me how things worked; most people studied in the summer, or just one semester, or lived in an apartment, and I thought they wouldn’t be able to give me advice while being in Japan.  I had forgotten that while we all had different experiences there, the  experiences of being home were closer than one could imagine.

Hearing someone who had gone through it tell me that it’ll pass really gave me hope.  Comfort from other people is lovely and wholly appreciated, but because she truly felt the way I felt, it seemed so much more tangible.  We hugged one more time, and promised to meet up and get lunch (I seem to have a lot of lunch dates now that I might not be able to fulfill, oh dear).

By the way, this is my 199th post.  My next may or may not be my last for a long time, until I can figure out how to get the site running and all fancy.